We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
