You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
