Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Is it penis luge time yet?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
