I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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