I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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