planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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