1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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