been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
