We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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