just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
