im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Operation Purity has been aborted
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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