1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Is her dick bigger than yours?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
