i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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