bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
