It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize