She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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