id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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