Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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