we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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