He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Panties = found
Randomize
