that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There's always time for handjobs
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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