nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
