how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
