puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
