So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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