How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
