check it out our google latitudes are spooning
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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