We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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