party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
