my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
