It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i drank out of a bidet.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
