Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I am one with the molecules
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
