checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
