We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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