fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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