is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
