plz talk dirty to me
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
