yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
