I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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