shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm gonna fight the coyote
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
