you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
