Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
