Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
