I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
