I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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