I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
