I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
