This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
