OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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