Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
God, I missed his penis.
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