Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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