Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You were trust falling into bushes
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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