does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
