Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.

Fav 25 1173 4959
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(843): View more from South Carolina

i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.

Fav 16 5674 1838
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.

Fav 3 1213 1783
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(713): View more from Texas

I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.

Fav 10 2236 1117
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(347): View more from New York

So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.

Fav 6 2020 884
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(785): View more from Kansas

There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.

Fav 1 697 534
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(330): View more from Ohio

My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.

Fav 0 39 16
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