After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
