bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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