Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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