I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
