Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.

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(512): View more from Texas

Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.

(760): View more from California

Wow.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance

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(801): View more from Utah

At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow

(1-304): View more from West Virginia

Teach me the song of your people

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life

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