my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
