is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
