Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
