I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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