i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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