dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So vagazzling was a success
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize