No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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